Aug 03 2009
10(ish)Movie Villains
Pretty simple. The ten best movie villains (in my opinion), only I cheated and actually included thirteen villains in my top ten list. There’s just one rule to remember–I have to have actually seen the movie. This keeps guys like Hannibal Lecter and Norman Bates (from Psycho) off the list (oops, I sort of cheated again–up to 15 bad guys now!)
Without further ado:
10. Ratigan (The Great Mouse Detective)
Disney has had some pretty good bad guys including Gaston, various wicked stepmothers, Cruella Deville (though she was mostly scary to animal rights activists), and Scar, but Ratigan takes the cake as the smartest and scariest of them all. Suave (until the very end) and utterly callous towards the lifes of others, he feeds henchmen and enemies alike to his pet cat–who is very fat. The intellectual and physical match of Basil of Baker Street, he finally meets a Gollum-like end, falling from the Big Ben clock tower after a very intense and scary fight scene.
Quote: “You fool! Isn’t it clear to you yet? The superior mind has triumphed! I’VE WON!!”
9. The Balrog (Lord of the Rings)
For a story where evil is everywhere, LoTR has very few personal bad guys. Most are vague shadowy terrors, and the Balrog isn’t really an exception to that, but I picked him because of his sheer flaming awesomeness. Balrogs were some of the most powerful evil still living in Middle Earth. Servants of Morgoth, very few ever succeeded in killing a Balrog, and even fewer killed a Balrog and survived. A Balrog would be at least as powerful as the ring wraiths. Probably only the witch-king would even come close (yet another reason the witch-king should not have been able to defeat Gandalf the White in the movies *). Not just anyone can kill a powerful wizard like the Balrog did.
Quote: umm . . . “Rawr”?
8. Agent Smith (The Matrix)
It’s hard to explain the exact nature of Agent Smith to someone who hasn’t seen the Matrix. It would require a lot of explaining because the movie’s concept is so weird. An agent of the machines whose job it is to ensure that humans remain trapped in the matrix, Agent Smith is one of those scary bad guys who you know will always manage to turn up at absolutely the worst time and ruin everything. He also takes part in some of the most revolutionary fight scenes in movie-making. Not bad for a pointy-eared elf (Elrond).
Quote: “”You hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability. That is the sound of your death.”
7. Khan Noonien Singh (Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan)
Genetically engineered to be smarter and stronger than everyone else, Khan’s main weakness is his sense of pride (a rather traditional weakness for bad guys). Like many other bad guys on this list, Khan places human life considerably lower on his list of priorities than whatever his goal happens to be. He’s very similar to Captain Nemo, but his hate and ambition have kept him from being the great man that he could have been.
Quote: “No. No, you can’t get away. From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.” (quoting from Moby Dick)
6. Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine
My first cheat. But really, it is difficult to seperate these two. Darth Vader may have been the face and the muscle of the empire, but Palpatine was the greater evil and the impetus behind Vader. What makes them interesting is the tenuous control Palpatine exerts over Vader and their interactions with Luke Skywalker (not to mention the whole brutal world domination thing). Of course, in the great Star Wars climax, Darth Vader turns on the emperor to save his son, but for ninety-eight percent of the original trilogy, these two combine to form one of the baddest duos of bad guys around.
Quote (Vader): “Apology accepted, Captain Needa.” ( while using the force to choke him to death)
Quote (Palpatine): “And now, young Skywalker, you will die.”
5. Ben Wade and Charlie Prince (3:10 to Yuma)
These two make quite the contrast. Ben Wade is a Bible quoting, philosophizing, artist and killer, while his sidekick, Charlie Prince, is just a psychopathic gunslinger. Their relationship is similar to a father and his adoring loyal son (and it parallels and contrasts the relationship between the protagonist and his son). Like another evil duo on this list, one of them ends up turning on the other. Ben Wade’s character makes you think, and one big question is whether there’s any change in his character by the end of the movie. I say no, and that he and Charlie Prince are both as bad they come to the end.
Quote (Charlie Prince): “This town’s gonna burn!”
Quote (Ben Wade): Your conscience is sensitive, Dan. I don’t think it’s my favorite part of you.”
4. The Ghost and the Darkness (The Ghost and the Darkness)
This pair of almost supernaturally powerful lions terrorizes railroad workers in southern Africa. They’re not human, but they seem to display human levels of malice and cunning. They can’t be killed, trapped, or stopped. Every patch of rustling savanna grass and every shadow becomes terrifying in this movie. Not only are the lions terrifying, they are so beautiful and majestic they become thrilling to watch. The movie’s a bit bloody, but other than that, this is a great one to watch, and you’re never sure who’s going to end up winning.
Quote: umm . . . we’ll go with “Rawr” again.
3. Michael Corleone (The Godfather)
Michael Corleone starts as a very sympathetic character. He is a patriot, a WWII veteran, and someone who wants to get out of the family business to make an honest living. Circumstances, however, inevitably pull him back into the mob, and he becomes a monster, ruining his own life and watching the lives of everyone he loves get ruined as well. You never stop feeling sorry for him, and in some ways even liking him, but in the end he makes all the wrong choices becoming just another murderer and gangster. There’s a reason the Godfather movies are considered among the best ever made, and Michael Corleone’s character is a big part of it. (Note, there’s also a reason I wouldn’t watch these movies except edited for TV).
Quote: “My father’s way of doing things is over, it’s finished. Even he knows that. I mean, in five years, the Corleone Family is going to be completely legitimate. Trust me. That’s all I can tell you about my business.”
2. The Joker (The Dark Knight)
The Joker lacks some of the complex personality and motivational attributes that make some of the other villains so good, but the portrayal by Heath Ledger is one of the best villain acting jobs you can find. The mannerisms, speech characteristics, and writing all combine to make an almost perfect pyschotic loose-cannon bad guy. He’s almost more of a demon than a normal villain thanks to his twisted goals.
Quote: “Do you wanna know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can’t savor all the… little… emotions. In… you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?”
1. Commodus (Gladiator)
Commodus is a very complex and thoroughly despisable character. The heart of Commodus’s character is fear and ambition. His ambition forces him to strive to be great, but his fear forces him to paranoia and cruelty. He wants nothing more than to make his father, Marcus Aurelius, proud (except maybe for his sister to return the romantic feelings he feels for her–ick), so he hugs his father and smothers him to death in order to become emperor. He is manipulative and cunning and proud. Two of the most chilling moments in Gladiator contains no violence at all. In the first Commodus forces his sister to betray Maximus in the presence of her young son by telling the son a “story” containing veiled threats against the son’s life were she to refuse. Later, in the second scene . . . well . . .
Quote: “Lucius [her son] will stay with me now. And if his mother so much as looks at me in a manner that displeases me, he will die. If she decides to be noble and takes her own life, he will die. [To his sister, Lucius's mother] And as for you, you will love me as I loved you. You will provide me with an heir of pure blood, so that Commodus and his progeny will rule for a thousand years. Am I not merciful? [she does not answer, fighting back tears] AM I NOT MERCIFUL??”
*shudders*
I have no idea how he didn’t make it on AFI’s list of 50 movie villains. He should definitely at least beat out Cruella DeVille . . . or “man, in Bambi” 
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* Apparently the film makers forgot Gandalf the White told Gimli “[I am] more dangerous than anything you will ever meet, unless you are brought alive before the Dark Lord himself.” That includes the witch-king!
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So next up the Top 10 (or 15) movie heroes or heroines?
I can do that now!
10. Bella Swan
9.
Balto>>>Ariel8. Fezzik
7. Willow
6. Babe
5. Mr. Incredible
4. Professor Snape
3. Gus gus
2. Scooby Doo
1. Ernest P. Worrell
Babe? as in, the pig?! pretty sure that’s The Most Ridiculous movie ever made. the idea of a talking pig being brought up by a talking dog isn’t even intelligent. Besides which they make a mockery of sheep herding competition, which is a perfectly respectable sport. And cats. The paint scene…that was just plain insulting. Cats are much more aware/awake and infinitely more agile than what was portrayed; and they never let you know if you have bested them…IF you have bested them. An insult to the feline race…pretty sure the film should have been rated PG-13 for thematic elements.
Bella Swan can best be described as a spineless, infatuated child whose key words were “bite me”. Not only did she have a small world, but she also didn’t have much to go on in the way of deep feelings – in the most recent release, she displayed her brat side quite well with a pity party and then had to be motivated to go fight for what she believed she loved…or is that outdated, real lasting love. On a side note, there are way too many slow-motion parts in the movie…there’s got to be some realism here, ppls. dude…
Willow…as in the dwarf person who saved that baby? Lame, lame lame. A Wizard of Oz set-up wannabe. And their clothes never get dirty. EVer. Plus that, all that switching sides has to be confusing for children, and children are always interested in magic, make-believe, dwarfish ppls. How are they to know if Willow is truly a good or an evil person? Maybe he will switch sides and become evil…traumatizing children like that can’t be a good thing, and u were obviously traumatized. Severely.
Fezzik. On the same list as Mr. Incredible…what is this, the comic relief part of the blog? Pretty sure someone was having seizures when they put this thing together, seriously – it is a “good guy” list and it has Professor Snape on it. Brains, ppl…brains; they do exist, but some individuals tend to have Major Issues with the lack thereof. And Worrel? u show ur age, herr moth. Among other things.
This list would be an utter failure if it weren’t for Mr. Incredible, Gus Gus, and Scooby Doo. And Balto. Balto should be at least in the number 2 position, because he is a likable, developing, inspiring character, even though he is a dog. Not to mention that he actually existed at one point. But at best, this list could be compared goat’s diet – definite variety, a little bizarre, and barely palatable. Scarcely to be believed, hardly to be taken seriously. Rather like this critique.
Babe? as in, the pig?! pretty sure that’s The Most Ridiculous movie ever made. the idea of a talking pig being brought up by a talking dog isn’t even intelligent. Besides which they make a mockery of sheep herding competition, which is a perfectly respectable sport. And cats. The paint scene…that was just plain insulting. Cats are much more aware/awake and infinitely more agile than what was portrayed; and they never let you know if you have bested them…IF you have bested them. An insult to the feline race…pretty sure the film should have been rated PG-13 for thematic elements.
Bella Swan can best be described as a spineless, infatuated child whose key words were “bite me”. Not only did she have a small world, but she also didn’t have much to go on in the way of deep feelings – in the most recent release, she displayed her brat side quite well with a pity party and then had to be motivated to go fight for what she believed she loved…or is that outdated, real lasting love. On a side note, there are way too many slow-motion parts in the movie…there’s got to be some realism here, ppls. dude…
Willow…as in the dwarf person who saved that baby? Lame, lame lame. A Wizard of Oz set-up wannabe. And their clothes never get dirty. EVer. Plus that, all that switching sides has to be confusing for children, and children are always interested in magic, make-believe, dwarfish ppls. How are they to know if Willow is truly a good or an evil person? Maybe he will switch sides and become evil…traumatizing children like that can’t be a good thing, and u were obviously traumatized. Severely.
Fezzik. On the same list as Mr. Incredible…what is this, the comic relief part of the blog? Pretty sure someone was having seizures when they put this thing together, seriously – it is a “good guy” list and it has Professor Snape on it. Brains, ppl…brains; they do exist, but some individuals tend to have Major Issues with the lack thereof. And Worrel? u show ur age, herr moth. Among other things.
This list would be an utter failure if it weren’t for Mr. Incredible, Gus Gus, and Scooby Doo. And Balto. Balto should be at least in the number 2 position, because he is a likable, developing, inspiring character, even though he is a dog. Not to mention that he actually existed at one point. At best, this list could be compared goat’s diet – definite variety, a little bizarre, and barely palatable. Scarcely to be believed, hardly to be taken seriously. Rather like this critique.
*laughs and laughs and laughs*
My dear Pooka, you reveal your lack of academic knowledge of the post-pre-Spielburgian school of movie analysis. All of my choices represent not only the pinnacle of movie writing, but also highly influential developments in the pseudo-freudian uebermensch movie hero/heroine.
Babe represents the extremely important breakthrough in non-canine/non-equine animals procuring starring roles. Not only was it an important extension of the civil rights movement, it was a major triumph for equality opening the door for cats, birds, cows, and panda bears to have starring roles. Babe was the perfect actor for the perfect role in this tour de force of good vs prejudice and evil.
Bella Swan is the epitome of the Jungian heroine, combining true beauty with intelligence, depth of wisdom, and feral emotion. The quality of character, of course, stems from the quality of the books the movies are adapted from. The fact that Steven King denigrates the writing as even worse than his own merely demonstrates his lack of judgment on the matter. How could an engaging heroine caught in a passionate teenage love triangle between a vampire and a werewolf *not* make this list?
I will barely even respond to your comments about Willow. You sound like a person who has not even seen the movie! Whatever the nature of the world around him, Willow is clearly good from the very beginning. His simple, honest, loyal character is cut from the same mold as Samwise Gamgee, only Willow’s character is superior in nearly every way. Willow carried the human baby faithfully through many dangers–Sam wouldn’t even keep his own pony with him!
Fezzik is the Giant with the heart of gold, Snape is one of the great conflicted yet noble heroes of our time, etc. etc. Ernest P. Worrell is the great American epic hero following in the traditions of James Fenimore Cooper and Herman Melville. He displays the true American spirit–resourcefulness, positive attitudes, sacrifical deeds, and love of little children.
You laugh at my age, but truly you show your youth and inexperience by failing to recognize the greatness of these characters, and my brilliance in choosing them.
Your brilliance in choosing them is evident…as well as your comprehension of human character. Bella has no taste when it comes to males – what is the difference between a blood-sucking sickly-looking freak and a shaggy loner whose real identity is nebulous even to himself? Silly Bella should go back to her Barbies.
I believe i see a glimmer of understanding with Babe. However, Babe wasn’t the star – the cat was! Anyone could have seen that, misrepresented as he was, with his bravery to protect the sacrifice of love the farmer was building for his brat of a granddaughter and his efforts of counsel and warning for the pig in the rain (even though that scene was badly portrayed as well). Obviously, the movie was a statement against mistreatment of the feline race.
Willow was a clean freak who was no doubt hoping for some kind of reward in his heart of hearts, which was why he was so good…it’s called Motivation. You insult Samwise with the comparison.
I still maintain the position that Balto should have been placed at a higher rating. The fact that he is actually on your list shows some intelligence on your part, for he was a resourceful character who took the pros and cons of his ancestry and sacrificially put them to good use to save an entire town. And another thing: I find it sad that Wilby the penguin did not make this list. He, above all of them, is deserving of honor, for therein was sacrificial love, intelligence, depth of wisdom, and the American spirit of resourcefulness and positive attitudes. Never for one time did he lose heart in what he believed, and his faith in it took wings and soared with each difficulty. Perhaps though it was because he was a penguin that he didn’t make this list…because Babe doesn’t care enough about penguins to include them in his civil rights movement.
Your impassioned arguments concerning Balto have induced me to reexamine his position on the list.
He is no longer on the list.
Instead I have replaced him with a free-spirited heroine who represents the true power of love, namely making parental advice seem unneeded. Ariel undoubtedly greatly influenced the generation of bratty emo girls who live and die on the words and actions of their true love, a generation to which we are much indebted. She is much more deserving than Balto, who was really a failure in pretty much every way until the movie gets all new agey and empowers him through the spirit of the wolf etc. etc.
Replacing a Dog with an anti-family oriented fish-woman? Her influence has reached much further than “bratty emo girls”, apparently. If she didn’t have blue eyes, she would fit perfectly into the red-haired, brown-eyed ideal set up in the matchmaking minds of Certain People.
*pooka laughs and laughs*
Ah yes. Ariel. The mothers of the world are certainly indebted to Disney for introducing such a superior role model into the world of animated fiction.
Yes, Ariel was a great inspiration to me as a young girl. Just ask my mom.